Corporate Conversations

This happened a couple of years back. The time when we were just cub software engineers in this vast software jungle...huh...... not that now we have become lions.... !!! It was the time when we were scared about the managers, the time when a single mail from the manager would make us go berserk and slog day and night.... !!! The time when managers were corporate GODs for us. This happened with our protagonist Mr.Techno Venkat. This is the mail conversation between our protagonist and his manager, a day before the release

Manager's Mail: Venkat, the" xxxx" module that you had claimed to be completed coding and successful, the SHIT doesn't work. blah..blah...blah...bish...bish...bish...bishkyaooonnn... bishkyaooonnn... dhidum... dhidum.... dumeeel !!!! ( Yeah, same blood...uh...!!!)

(At that time had I received a mail from my manager with that tone, I would have literally pissed in my pants)

Our protagonists reply: Okay, Fine. (Perrrrrriod)

Whoa....I mean wow... that was an apt reply which would make any manager go MAD, FURIOUS, DISASTROUS or even CARNIVOROUS.... !!! But truly, the reply wasn't meant to be in that cold arrogant tone, it was just that our poor Techno Venkat didnt know what to reply, so he just said "Okay fine". Of course I don't know what happened the next day, but I would have really loved to see the manager's reaction... !!!

Meeting @ Vanishing Point

This was first message I got on Monday 22nd Sept'08, the day I joined Juniper Networks. And know what 'Vanishing Point' refers to one of the meeting rooms there...!!! whoa....this stuff rocks man.... they have named all the meeting rooms and cubicles based on movie names ...!!! Hah... feels good to be in a place where people respect you as a professional, where there are no bossy tantrums, no instinctive hasty meetings and most of all I don't have to face some of my previous colleagues and bosses who presumed that they ruled their employees... !!! Yeah this place is professional.... no its not the first day impressed employee speaking....I mean..... yeah..... may be becoz previously I had worked in a such a setup, I might just talk like one.... but this place is truly professional... I mean its just cool... !!! Seems like I have just landed in a job where I can project myself as a software professional.... !!! Oh my god its so nice to get a whole cubicle, all for your own... I mean you can rule' your' space...!!! You know how nice its a feeling to get a comfy chair for which you don't have to hunt around every morning, the A/C works, the restrooms are clean and you dont have to stand in queue, I get my own safe parking space where no body tampers with my babe(translated bike), breaks my indicator or writes his girlfriend's name on my petrol tank...... its really nice to be in a place where people are sensitive, sensible and professional.... whoa atlast I reached a place where I deserved to be in.

May be.... life is a full circle....!!! Had I straight away come from Huawei to Juniper, I might have taken this kind of life to be granted, but working in one such setup and then coming here was something to reckon with and realize that nothing is taken for granted...!!!

All the best macha...!!!

Indian movies have finally come of age..... at last after a long hiatus, I got a feeling of paisa vasool after watching Rock On and A Wednesday..... !!! I would say "A Wednesday" is an intelligent movie where as "Rock On" is a movie about your true passion....!!! Both these movies strike the right chord, coz probably this is the first time any bollywood director attempted to make movies that deal with two of the niche and untouched subjects: passion and intelligence.... !!! Yeah.....its an intended pun, coz probably I feel majority of directors in bollywood lack the two essentials of film making , passion and intelligence... !!! WTF.... movies like Singh is Kingg which, leave alone being intelligent , do not even seem entertaining go on to become top grossers... ???

But amidst all the crap.... Rock On and A Wednesday are a must watch....this monsoon !!! Be it the stellar performance by the cast or the picture perfect direction and editing..... these movies rock and are a guaranteed paisa vasool.... !!!

Was browsing through the net and happened to see this telugu version of the tamil movie 'rojakootam'...hah know what it is called in telugu, 'rojapoolu'..... !!! wow... thats wonderful..... I would say.....mmmmm...... okay cut it....!!!

You pervert minds...... how dare you...... :-)) !!! The name obviously means Rose, the flower....nothing else.... !!!

Read in the newspaper that they have found the 24th live bomb in surat, post the bangalore and ahemdabad blasts. It need not necessarily be a failure 24 times and the terrorists' motive could have been something else altogether.... may be just to scare the daylight out of us or whatever... !!!But IF it was actually a failure... amidst such hullaboo, did anybody give a thought about what would have been done or happened to the bomb maker whose li'l screw up really screwed up so much of their planning, training, investment and what not ... :-)) !!!

Happened to see this really hilarious video about Achmed the Dead Terrorist.... which triggered me to write the above... !!!

How far can this get ,everyday you come into your office and you find that "everyday" your chair is missing and instead it is replaced by a handicapped contraption where you don't know where to place your rear....!!! Try complaining to the "concerned person".....ok lets call it the CP and the reply you get is no where related to the question you asked..... and btw this CP is pretty famous for its talent to deviate the discussion towards most irrelevant and bullshit tangents.... Still I had the perseverance to complain it to the CP after umpteen number of mails being sent and the conversation is as below:

me: Hey listen, how many times should I complain that, please use some other chair for your official purposes and let mine alone.

CP: Hey, YO man..... tumhaari beevi kya jhakaas lagthi hai.... hhaaaiiyyyynnn... !!!

(And I am like, you think I would give a similar compliment to you, hah...kill me, even a blind man wouldn't do that....!!! Frankly yeah, the next time the CP comments about the dressing sense of people in the company, I'm gonna take a picture of her and show it to her... though its like provoking suicide...!!! hey...hey..hey... no "pun" intended guys...!!! )

Ok, so me with all the patience I can gather: Can you answer me, I am asking you a serious question. I need to finish my work and do you expect me to do that standing...!!! ( I ask the question with a smile on my face, but actually I have already started folding my sleeves... )

CP: Oh praveen...!!! hah hah hah.....oh no....... !!! Hey "Jr.CP ", did you hear that, pooher praveen....Oh my gaawwd....!!! ( with that franco-italian-latino-jhopad patti english which the CP proclaims to be it's American accent, i feel like wha....whaat the #%@$, did I say I am going through labour...then.... !!!)

Somebody give me a shot gun.....!!!

Got a li'l busy with married life and yeah FYKI still everything seems alright, I am still very much the happy guy with one more beautiful soul who has joined to share my li'l piece of joy, happiness, sorrow, excitement and fun.....!!! But life seems to have come to a stand still....has the time machine stopped working...!!! I donno whether it is because of the kind of life I'm leading or because of the kind of job I'm doing. I cherish the moments I pass through, I am happy as a person, my soul is in peace, I am trying to be comfortably numb with the situations and people with whom I don't converge... all this and more, but why isn't the time running. Am I having the 'Just Married Confused Bachelor' syndrome.... nyaaaaaaah...nyah nyah.... jargons, jargons, jargons....sudhar ja saale....!!!

As she tells me, I need to do something that interests me, at least take it as a hobby.... but I really need to indulge in it..... but what is it.... why am I in this stature of life where I dont know what i want. Is it because I have already got what I wanted and I have become content in my life. What next... got a job, have a satisfactory package, got a girl, married her, what next......don't tell me kids...!!! I am a happy man.....I know there is a vacuum inside me, but where is that vacuum, what is it about..... I really donno.....!!! I feel , I'll probably waste all my time trying to figure out what is the 'it'....!!!

You know what , may be I'm jobless, may be I'm just lethargic, may be I just dont want to work.... hah crap man.... you know what I just realized that life is not a circle....life is a set of concentric circles.... !!! or may be when I'm in a sober state (no...no..no..not with 2 pegs down) I might realize that life is a straight line.... !!! or may be when I am excited I might again realize that life is a non-linear graph..... !!!

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah......cut the crap....go to work..... you are on "Merchants" from this week.... move your ass and get to work buddy.... clock's ticking....!!!